Clarity Comes Quickly

No,I decide, no. This is not my life.

Meaning, that of course now I know the truth, but after a day of meditation I can say with confidence I am happy to let him have his life, that mess which he created – and I’ll keep mine here, just fine, without his vortex.

So this is cheating, or being cheated on.

I am glad, at least, that it was over with MGL before I found out.
I am glad he is not physically close to me right now.
I am glad that I had decided I would probably never see him again anyway.

It makes it easier. Now it is simply a matter of dealing with the principals of it, and since it is all in the past, the anger and frustration and hurt are real but they won’t last. There is no power in those emotions because they have nowhere to land. The meditation helps me see them for what they are. Quite simply, energy. The lingering practical issue is real, but my level of concern is low. Still, I will follow through with the appointment.

In the letter, he reminds me that I had coached him through a tough spot once. He held my hand in Hannah Flannagan’s Bar, “Do you remember that? Do you remember what you told me?” he writes. And then he quotes me with precision: “MGL, you can write your way through this. Write your way through it.”

He has asked me to decide if I will help him publish his writing from jail.
I decide to take as long as I want to even consider a reply.

  • kathryn (howls with wolves)

    I got your comment on my blog… thank you for your words, calling my words “poetic” – it made this foggy-in-the-head morning seem brighter.

    Your post today felt melancholy, I wanted to say “sad” but somehow it is not that – becuase sad would mean you aren’t strong at your core, I guess…melancholy means, to me, at this moment, that you are in a prismed bubble, hovering above.

    You asked about WNCW – weren’t you in an issue? I may be confused, as I stay in that state quite often. *smiling*

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