Um…Uh…

It’s completely unexpected but I am up way to late, ignoring my homework with my head in Riley’s lap and his smell all over my house. I can’t explain it except that in my mind all I can think is that when I made the new rules for the blog I should have made one about unexpected overnight visitors.

Having failed that, and skipped my homework, and lost sleep before it’s even begun, I drag myself off the futon to the desk and here I sit, heart pounding, my muse at my back perusing my bookshelf and constantly interrupting my thoughts.

“Why the fuck do you have five volumes of Heidegger?”

“’Cause I majored in philosophy.”

“Oh, I thought you majored in sociology or something like that.”

“Hell no. I don’t believe in sociology.”

“What makes you think sociology’s any better than philosophy?”

“I’m writing, Riley,” I say this with a smile on my face but a seriousness in my tone.

“Well this’ll give you something to write about,” he says, and when he says it I know I’ll have to turn around and tell him that yes, in fact, I am writing about it. Have been all along. I’ll say something like, Remember that one time when we were picking weeds in the rain and you told me we should head to the coast for the weekend and I told you I wanted to write about you and you laughed it off? And maybe he’ll remember or maybe he won’t, but then I’ll keep going out of nervousness, and I’ll say something in my lunatic-writer-monologue-voice like: Well, I did. I meant it. You know. I have been. And he will laugh at me, then scratch his head loudly, and offer a witty retort.

Which, of course, I will think explains everything when really it explains hardly anything.

And furthermore, there’s not a chance in hell I’ll get a wink of sleep tonight. It’s like all the sudden sleeping with the back of your own brain, or forgetting the front of your own brain at least, and squirming around all nervous under the covers and undecided about whether or not you’re glad Riley’s car got a flat in your driveway or not, or, for example, whether or not you think you’re too straight-laced and only pretending that Sure! What the hell! Of course I can blow off homework and sleep and good sense and all of the above, and sure! Yeah! No problem! I do this all the time. People everywhere do this all the time. It’s what’s done. It’s….

Awwww, crap. Goodnight.