Day 10

Oh! There are exciting links on the website tonight!

First, the literary journal M Review is up, including my runner-up nonfiction story titled “Islandia.” I hope that someday, a version of this will be the first chapter in my memoir. Click on the sidebar links from my websiteto read the story!

I passed seven live Starbucks, one in the making, and two dead Coffee People Coffee’s today (in about two miles distance) on my way to NE Portland and Jim and Patty’s Coffee on Fremont to meet Cass.

Finally, she was ready to talk. She’d been so clammed up, so sulking and sad before. Understandably, but closure is nice when you can get it and today it finally came when she found her words. And with those words offered, came my forgiveness, as simple as that. I do not like to hold grudges (what a waste of energy!) and I don’t do well with loose ends untied. What a relief it was today, to hear her out and find that we were in the same place. Regretful but knowing. Sad but resolved.

And somewhere in all that feeling, like a black beast in a cave without light, love still lingers. Will it bare claws if provoked? Taunted? Or will it lie sleeping, waiting for someone to curl into safe dreams with it? An invitation? Would it grant us one more day of connection? One more night of knowing with our hands and mouths?

I realize now that this is my weakness. To love and love and love and forgive always. It is also my strength; a burden to carry and a blessing to be carried by.

Grant me strength.