Adventures in Online Dating: Chapter Nine OPEN COMMUNICATION

Dr. Warren’s letter is, for all intents and purposes, a disclaimer. Be safe. Be smart. Remember that eHarmony matches compatibility, you decide chemistry. I read it in a wink and that fast, Match #1 and I enter “Open Communication.”

He sends an email. I write back. This is how it will go, until…until…I don’t know. Now the business of actually getting to know someone begins, on our own terms. I had forgotten, after all the meticulous steps of Guided Communication, that at some point that Matches have to take over the helm. eHarmony lets us out into the world and we have to try to bridge the gap, keep the connection, deepen understanding, and determine what next.

Meanwhile, Match #3 and I have progressed down the line and are nearing Open Communication. He’s reading the answers to the Open Questions he asked me (one of them was about how I live, which included some details about the lack of air conditioning, central heat, television, and cell phones…wonder if that scared him off?…It’s been 24 hours, a near eternity in eHarmony time…).

The New Matches roll in faster than I can cope but I am getting better and Closing the Match promptly if I can see that the distance is simply too far.

Then again, there was that one guy in Ohio…I stayed at my parents’ house last night and yes, we looked at the My Matches page together, giving the thumbs up thumbs down as we scrolled through the lists. I sat on the couch with Dad on my left and Mom on my right and we clicked away, and then we saw the New Match from Ohio, whose photo was a head shot cut off from the nose down in the foreground, the background being a giant cathedral with flying buttresses on either side about where his ears would be. Clearly, a punster and a photo taken to toy with perception. But it catches my attention all the same, and Mom and I read his “About Me” page where we learn he is an attorney, has a great sense of humor, and actually seems like a decent fit.

We zoom in on the picture and pause as the photo downloads, then, yes, there it is…And Mom and I are saying in unison:

“Oh, look. He has those…John Cusak eyes!”

I sent my First Questions for the heck of it, Close a few more Matches, and call it a night.