Adventures in Online Dating: Chapter Eleven YES, THESE EVENTS WERE RECORDED REAL TIME

John Cusak (Match #4) hasn’t written back and Match #2 (the faraway Buddhist) is so MIA I’m about to put him “On Hold,” and Match #3 (the one who doesn’t like my mountain lifestyle) has not initiated Open Communication.

But none of this matters, my friends, because through it all Match #1 is still the champ and the entire reason I paid that sixty bucks to begin with. From what I can tell, he writes his emails at the end of the day, possibly from work. He’s prompt, funny, polite, interesting, easy-going, and responsive. And yes, he sent me his picture (which wasn’t posted on eHarmony). It’s all pretty light-hearted so far but I have to say, it’s been lovely to have something to come home to at the end of the day, like someone checking up. I guess I hadn’t realized that I missed that, but I’ll be the first to admit that it’s pretty darn nice.

And so I suggest a phone call. This is so fast I surprise even myself—

[The phone rings…it rings again…]

No! she thinks, if that’s him the timing is just too profound.


I get up from the desk. I have one ring until the answering machine picks up and, dammit, where is that cordless phone?

The machine picks up, and it’s him, talking, introducing himself into my answering machine. I quickly unplug the cordless phone and plug in the rotary.

“Hello?” I say.

“Oh, hi…,” says Match #1…

And the next sixty minutes, as they say, are history.

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