“Old” Friend

Viva’s been on campus up at the craft school for a few weeks and will be around part-time in the main kitchen through the end of August. We’ve kept in touch since meeting two years ago, our time together always deep and creative. It gives me great piece of mind knowing that for all the people who come and go from the craft school, it is still possible to form and foster meaningful, long-lasting relationships.

It must have been two winters ago when I really fell for her, though I wasn’t brave enough to name it as such at the time. Always, our friendship remained most important to me and always, I knew that romance between us was not a possibility. But still, I was absolutely enchanted by her in particular moments, such as Shady’s Cafe or afternoons up at the studios during winter rental. Her grace inspired what felt like divine sentences for me, at the time, and for that I considered her my muse many months in a row. [The links are a few samples.]

What’s great is that we’ve both been in relationships since that time, though the down side is we’ve both been crushed and deceived as well. Tonight, her heart seemed so fragile and aching from the recent conclusion of a relationship. And in her pain, like all of us, she looked and felt absolutely beautiful. Still, that auburn-black hair, natural rouge to her cheeks, and undeniably sweet, soft tone of voice. The very fact of her steady vibrance gives me all the confidence that she’ll find someone she deserves in this world, and someone who deserves her. She is a solid rock woman and I told her as much.

But it’s hard to write about her now—now that our friendship has grown and I’ve outlived my walloping crush on her and we’ve both seen each other get walked on a bit by past loves. It’s hard because I’ve changed and therefore how I approach her has changed, which means I cannot write about her as she once was.