Adventures in Online Dating: Chapter 17 THE UPDATE
Website updates (the link should work this time)!
It seems only fair to do a quick update. All permissions granted. And it’s so fun, anyway, isn’t it!?
Dara gave up on eHarmony because it made her realize she’s actually still in love with X, who doesn’t know what he’s missing and would rather play games with quickies than have a real woman. Besides, she’s busy being an artist and who needs X anyway, right?
Noelle had her first date with her Match #1, a firefighter, no less, last week. They went to a gallery opening and had coffee too. Noelle reports that the ease of conversation they had on the phone transferred easily to their in-person chatter and yes, ladies and gentleman, he makes eye contact.
Jane had her first date with her Match #1 last week as well, and is out having a drink with him on a second date tonight. She reports that she’s continuing to learn “shit loads” about herself through online dating, a fact that we email about daily. And no one could sum it all up better than Jane herself, so let the woman speak:
“When I was emailing #1, we were talking about cell phones (he doesn’t have one, but is getting one soon) and I was talking about how they were great and super convenient, but I had taken to shutting mine off in the past week or so. It was like silently telling the world, “Haha!! You can’t have me!!” But then I was sort of bummed when I would turn it on and I didn’t have any calls, because while I didn’t want the world to have me, I still wanted the world to want to have me. And then I erased that paragraph, because I realized that the little cell phone story is really an allegory for my view of relationships and it was far too revealing.”
Despite this realization, she made it to her first date. But not without some badass primping:
“Just washed my favorite jeans and I’m wearing my cowboy boots, which I wear all the time and give me confidence. I wear them anywhere I feel that I might be made to feel self-conscious or judge, for whatever reason. I cling to these boots as some sort of touchstone: “This is who I am! I am gritty and I can kick you and it will hurt but they are sexy as hell and make an awesome sound when I walk that commands attention and if you disagree you can kiss my ass…” is what my boots say. About me. In my head.”
Jane, for what it’s worth, is sexy and a badass even when she’s not wearing her cowboy boots.
This writer has enjoyed three dates with Match #1. There is compatibility, attraction, and connection. There is not ease. There have been, yes, a few red flags—a few things that just don’t resonate with me. Not tiny flags. Big ones, like about the size of the ones that you see from the interstate whenever you’re within a mile of a Burger King. And it would be tactless for me to enunciate further here.
Match #5, from OtherSideoftheMountain, TN and I got together for a quick lunch a few weeks ago in Tinyville, NC. He’ll be a good neighbor to have. And I’m wicked curious about his farm. But friends it will be and that is completely fine.
This writer has also enjoyed an truly amazing date with Match #6, who has routinely impressed her with manners, phone calls, immeasurable manly attraction and smells (did I mention the beard and Carhartts?), flexibility when under pressure, sweetness of voice and touch, an admirable profession and hobby, and on and on. Future dates are planned over the next two weeks. Yes, my friends, Match #6 likes to plan. Glory be!
My boss has joined the eHarmony ranks from the sidelines, but every day gets closer and closer to contacting a New Match. My college friend has not reported back yet, except to say, “You know Katey, it’s not the money that’s holding me back.” A wise remark, I thought.
Meanwhile, a Bee from work has resumed her adventures with eHarmony, after hearing the buzz from us. She’s an experienced online dater and already, in three weeks time mind you, has found a New Match, turned off Matching with others, and had half a dozen dates and some pretty sweet lovin’ from her new artist boyfriend. Whew. When it’s good, it’s good.
And so the saga of the single women on mountaintops continues. Wish us luck as we venture forth!