New View, Spring View

Effectively, I took a week plus one long weekend off of MFA homework. Instead, I did magazine work, I reviewed submissions for two literary magazines, I sorted papers, I had a day in the city with mom, and I talked to friends for long hours on the phone. I wrote epic emails, cleared out my inbox, practiced karate in the sun, and later, pampered my knee.

I also paid bills. I did not pay my $856 student loan interest bill because a) I do not have to and b) I do not have that kind of money. I managed to pay the interest for my first three semesters but now that it’s gotten that large, I simply cannot. What will the interest be by the time I graduate? Thank you Mr. George Bush, for doubling the loan interest rate and changing the laws so that students cannot consolidate until completing their degree and for cutting the funds available to subsidize Stafford loans, all of which means my interest alone by June 2008 will be $2,000.

But that’s not what I want to say. What I want to say is life is fresh and so is spring. I feel as though I can pace myself now. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel, and even though the thesis is yet to be finished and the magazine work has only just begun, I feel charged to take it all on.

Tonight, a friend is coming over for a drink. I’ll put my feet up, sip slowly, and enjoy the view as the sun goes down. Tomorrow, onward into this new view, a view of being productive with a gentle touch, with the certainty that I will do what needs to be done to the best of my ability and that I don’t need to worry about any of that.