An Open Letter to Texas
Since it looks like we’ll be spending time together this fall, I thought I should introduce myself. You’ll know me first and foremost by my car, THE CLAW, which will cross your borders sometime the morning of August 30th. THE CLAW needs no further introduction. You’ll know me second by what I write about you, which will be place- and people-based observations of my choosing. Whatever you present to me is fair game, Texas, though I’ll also be making use of your local public libraries for proper history texts.
There is something you should know before I take up residence in your great city of Houston and that is that I am engaged in a continuous and glorious love affair with another state–the state of Alaska. You are not my Number 1, Texas, though I understand “second best” is not your preference. The great state of Alaska is known to induce in me endless bouts of walking, coincidental magic, spontaneous cultural studies, amateur scientific study, and physical endurance challenges. Oh Texas, if you haven’t been to Alaska yet, surely you should plan a trip.
That said, you are the only state on the tour thus far whose very reputation demands a letter prior to my arrival. It feels as though I’m readying to meet a future husband’s family: Will I be accepted? Will I stand out? Is what everyone has been telling me actually true?
And what has everyone been saying, you might ask. Well, Texas, please do not take offense, as the information I’m about to share with you comes not from my own lips but from the minds of others, appropriately or inappropriately informed as they may be. In short, I hear tell that you:
- have a large ego
- sometimes consider seceding from the Union
- have very, very rich people alongside very, very poor people
- like oil
- (a lot)
- endorse Cowboy hats
- in general refuse rights to the immigrant population upon which your economy so greatly depends
- are suffering from a drought
- take very seriously your role as “gatekeepers” between the United States and Mexico along your borders
- enjoy a good Polka dance
- have lots of snakes and creatures with exoskeletons that can kill with one bite/sting/stab
- have some pretty hills
Phew. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s let primary experience and a little book-work be my guide henceforth. What surprises do you have up your sleeve? Please be good to me, as the air-conditioning in THE CLAW is broken and a bone in my foot is broken as well. With a little love, I think we can make this work just fine.
Katey & THE CLAW