Everything changes. I have three weeks until I travel – possibly for two readings in Oregon now, in addition to the residency – and I must be well before I leave.
I make a new rule: Only one activity per day in addition to homework. I cancel roadwork for the afternoon with the boys. I cancel women’s singing night. I cancel a day trip to Canton. I decline a freelance gig that would take me to Buncombe County for a day of research. I call the director of my MFA program. I email my advisor. I call my boss. I hunker down and sleep nine hours. I take a nap in the afternoon. Then…
Dad to the rescue. He arrives, from forty minutes away after a day of hard work on a carpentry project, and brings me groceries. He has a truck and therefore saves me not only the trip in town, but the tedious task of hiking the groceries half a mile up the mountain. The bags are small but just what I need – organic produce, soymilk, some essentials. And to top it all off…the ingredients for baking chocolate chip cookies. Wow. Superhero Dad!
And then, instead of just leaving me to be all alone and sick on the side of the mountain, he stays and reads with me on the porch and we talk about books while I sip tea. What a guy!
Tonight, to bed early if I can. Tomorrow – stay home all day. Write two essays and ready fifty pages. Do road work with the boys, but take it slowly. Sleep, sleep, sleep.
It feels good to at least know why I was such a freaking mess for over three months, why my right tonsil kept puffing up and nearly exploding, why I couldn’t seem to stay out past 8pm without feeling like I’d pass out, why I couldn’t seem to get up early like I ordinarily do, why I seemed to need more coffee than usual, etc., etc.
Healing, here I come.